


The cart bright and early in the morning

by Sociopathicnutellaeggplant



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, Random items, flirty Izaya, inuendo or two, sassy Izaya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 09:26:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10614036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant/pseuds/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant
Summary: in the early hours of the morning, Shizuo has trouble sleeping. He decides taking a walk might calm his for some reason worked up nerves. When he exits his apartment, he comes across the reason that he blames for his problem. As he is about to confront his enemy, destroying the city in the process, he realises something VERY different about him.(Used random item generator as a base for this FanFiction)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I used a random item website  
> It chose 100 random items and I used them in order to create this.  
> I didn't use all 100 of them so this is as far as I got. I've got more ideas to continue. Try not to question it too much.  
> It deleted all my spaces between paragraphs.  
> Problem solved

Shizuo was tossing and turning, unable to sleep. He couldn't understand why. Since everyone he knew was asleep, he decided to take a late night walk to make his body more inclined to sleep. When he exited his apartment and began to move toward the street, he stopped. 

Izaya nodded smugly at the blonde who he always found amusement in annoying. Usually, their fights would be average. Shizuo would rip a poor signpost out of the ground, one that had been just getting settled into Ikebukuro, perhaps starting a family of small stop sign children, perhaps being a “playah” as the cool kids would say. Sign cruelty was becoming a larger problem in the city than violence in general. For every injured gang member, two innocent signs had been torn from their homes, crippled, forced to be tossed into temperatures that melted them down, only to be reborn to suffer the same fate, except the few who were lucky to be sent to another city, a safer city. Unfortunately for the blonde, today was not like every other. There he stood, cigarette fallen and staining the ground, mouth hung open with saliva threatening to be forced from its home, much like the many poor signposts who have been forced from their home, as he watched his enemy, the man who had ruined hundreds of people's lives, forced many to throw themselves off buildings! The man before him, the god, Orihara Izaya, was sliding along the road in a wagon. This was not just any wagon. This wagon was not a historical treasure, not an expensive movie prop or something that looked like it belonged in sleepy hollows. Not a wagon that looked to be capable of carrying the headless herself without destroying her reputation. No. No, this wagon was bright red. A small, square, bright red open box of polished metal with four wheels and a black handle, the amount of space comfortable for a child. Until this moment, Shizuo had never been so confused. The other man was crazy, insane, psychopathic and all the rest, but this, this was something else. The man dressed in black with black hair and even probably a black soul, sitting in a red wagon. The most ridiculous part was he didn't seem to lose his dignity. Somehow, the borderline emo bastard was managing to ride along in a fucking wagon that he's only ever seen children ride in and he would never say it out loud but he made it look classy. The polished red paint of the wagon shined brightly from the street lights, while the one inside it consumed every bit of light. The blonde was far too confused to even respond to the others movements. He stood. Stared. Once the man who dressed like he was still 14 and going through his rebellious phase that “wasn't a phase!” Moved past him, he finally blinked. 

Izaya slowly slid his hand into his pocket, and at that moment, Shizuo expected to have him fling a knife at him, then their fights would progress as normal. in moments he lifted his hand to catch the fork that flew his wa-...  
FORK?!?!  
Yes, the strongest man known to man, animals, plants and some headless creatures had just had a fork thrown at him with such accuracy that if he had not moved it would have taken out an eye. He glanced at the fork momentarily, only to see a small carving on it. He brought the fork closer to his eyes to inspect the carving. 

“You?” He questioned himself aloud and continued staring at the carving. “Why does this fork have you carved in it? Fork-you. For-... FUCKING DI-” his words were cut off by a dog whistle. He crushed the fork in his hand with no effort and snapped his head up to find the darker haired man turning gracefully around his wagon until their eyes could meet. 

“Shizu-chan, I don't think anyone has interest in doing such things with a beast” at that, the blonde was about to snap and finish the man once and for all, until he spot the shiny black material hanging from his shoulder. His eyes followed the strap up to his shoulder then along his chest, only to have his brain fried once more. At this, the blonde could finally speak, without much opportunity to filter what he says. 

“A purse and a blouse? Are you some fucking woman? Don't tell me you’re trying to imitate some j-pop shit. Mid-life crises already?” An old clock in the background struck 12 at night. The blonde had had enough. He growled and forced his hand into his pocket angrily, hearing the tearing of fabric as his hands fished for what they were looking for. The other man seemed to be happily sitting in his wagon, not affected by the others cheeky words. He dismissed them as affectionate. It was Izaya’s turn to be confused when the other pulled a magnet out of his pocket. 

“Whatever, people always say we’re a magnet that attracts each other, so this should repel you the fuck away to another country, negative piece of shit!” This magnet was nothing impressive, in fact, it was far from it, a piece of metal no bigger than a woman's smallest finger. Izaya chuckled at the other man’s words, slowly rising from his wagon like he would a throne, stepping gracefully toward him. As he approached, he reached into his purse to grab a small piece of red thread. He tied the thread to his smallest finger and slowly took the other's hand and tied the other side of the red thread to his smallest finger. Shizuo was too overwhelmed by previous events that he just stood silently and watched, probably due to the meltdown occurring within the confines of his skull. 

Once complete, Izaya showed a cocky smirk and finally decided grace the other with his angelic voice. “Have you ever heard of the tales of soul mates, Shizu-chan? Bound by red string that only select few are able to see? Looks like you can't escape me now!” He winked and stuck his tongue out in the cheekiest way he could manage. The blonde man pulled his hand back, snapping the fragile red thread and growled loudly at his enemy. 

“Soul mates?! Don't talk bullshit you annoying piece of shit!” Shizuo breathed heavily, trying to calm himself and contain his voice so he didn't disturb the cities precious peaceful time. He glared at Izaya, a look that would send most people into a mental breakdown and falling to their knees. The other man simply smirked. 

“Oh~ shizu-chan must be getting all flushed. My, what a gentleman, waiting for that special lady? I always saw you as a man of commitment” Izaya raised his hand so it was visible to both him and Shizuo, he then slipped one of his silver rings off his finger, leaving his last silver ring on his ring finger. He looked deeply into the other's eyes, smirking at the look he had gained from him. In mockery of fear he fell to one knee and gripped his heart dramatically. “My, how terrifying! I did not mean to enrage you, my dear Shizu-chan” he grinned before presenting the ring to the other, taking his left hand before he had a chance to comprehend what was happening before him. “Shizu-chan, I hope you can forgive me! Oh my sweet, will you become my monster? Marry me!” His voice was sickly sweet and dripping with sarcasm. He slid the ring onto Shizuo's finger and looked up so their eyes could meet. 

After a few moments, Shizuo finally realised what had just happened. He hastily snatched his hand away and threw the ring in the direction of the wagon that was parked neatly on the sidewalk. He attempted to throw a punch at the other but he dodged. He searched in front of him for the sneaky man but couldn't see him. He turned to see him standing, looking extremely amused. He had both hands in his pockets. 

“Oh~ I suppose that must mean you want to-..” Izaya took one hand out of his pocket, yet again Shizuo expected it to be his usual knife, but was shocked to find a screw thrown at him. The action allowed his anger to be replaced with confusion momentarily, until the sly man's word had sunken in. 

“IIIIIIZZZZZAAAAAA-....” Shizuo was about to conclude his roar, until he noticed the other man had disappeared again. He turned and tuned but still couldn't locate the man. The sudden sound of a shutting door caught his attention, and it just happened to come from his very own apartment. He hastily stormed toward the apartment, tearing the door off its hinges. Once he was able to see inside his apartment, his eyes focused on his enemy, none other than Orihara Izaya, purse still delicately hanging off his shoulder and blouse giving him a more delicate appearance, sitting on the couch in the middle of the monsters den, reading the monsters news paper that had a pudding stain on it. He stomped forward to try to snatch the paper out of his hand, when suddenly a flash of silver invades his vision with a delicate “shink” sound. He looked down slowly to inspect the damage, and once again was left with his mouth wide open when he saw the buckle of his pants that had been sliced open. The damage itself was not enough to affect how his trousers fell, but was questionable. 

“Flea, what the fuck did you just do?” Shizuo asked as calmly as he could manage. He slowly moved his head up so he could leave another threatening glare but was forced to a standstill once again by shock. His pants now looked entirely questionable, with a blotch of white toothpaste sliding down the area of his crotch. He hoped desperately that this was some shitty dream, any moment he would wake up. The beast death stares Izaya then moved his attention back to his pants then to Izaya once more, that's when he realised a flash of light and a “click” sound. The bastard had taken a damn photo. 

“Shizu-Chan, you should have seen your face right now! Saying you looked like you were caught with your pants down would explain the expression well enough, except unfortunately part of that isn't literal… yet” He purred seductively and took the thermometer from the table beside him, quickly forcing it into the blondes wide open jaw before bringing it back to inspect it. “Oh~ looks like thermometer-San thought that photo was hot” he winked and continued to enjoy how entirely lost the other looked. “Unless this is causing you to be thinking inappropriate things, Shizu-chan~” Izaya hopped up off the couch and waltzed to the bathroom like he owned the place. “Do you mind if I use your bathroom? It looks like your photo was a little too spicy for me.” He said from inside the bathroom. Shizuo finally snapped out of his confusion and stomped toward the bathroom, fist clenched so tightly that even his own bones were threatening to break. The moment he stepped foot into the bathroom, Izaya dropped a bar of soap onto the ground and winked. “Oh Shizu-chan~, could you please pick that up for me?” He called seductively and stuck his tongue out. Shizuo blushed a little at the others teasing but remained stern. 

“Like hell I will!” He shouted and narrowed his eyes, his entire body shaking from rage. Izaya pouted cutely and looked away from the other, putting on the act of shyness. 

“O-okay, I'll pick it up for you, Shizu-chan” he bent down slowly toward the soap, being sure to give the other a nice view of his back side. When his hand finally reached the soap, he faked slip so the soap moved from his grip. He let out a fake girly gasp that came out as a borderline moan. He swayed his ass from side to side while faking to struggle to pick the soap up from the ground. Yet again, Shizuo was left to have another brain meltdown. After moments, he realised it would be the perfect opportunity to catch his enemy. If he couldn't run away, he could finally die. Shizuo slowly reached for the basically unused charger that had been discarded on the floor beside the towel rack, before hastily ambushing his pray. Izaya let out a squeal before he could stop himself and didn't have time to comprehend present events to avoid the power chords that tangled him. Izaya slowly turned his head to see Shizuo with a victorious grin on his face. This grin soon turned into a dark grin that was oozing with blood lust. Izaya gulped but quickly put on his same smirk. He would die before showing weakness to his enemy. 

“Oh~ I didn't know Shizu-chan had such a kinky side. I suppose it's to be expected from a beast. Lucky me, it looks like I'm in for one hell of a n-..” his words were cut off by a strong hand covering his mouth. Shizuo gave him the look of “if you say another word then it'll be the last word you ever speak”, except more of a beastily growl and more intimidating. He remained silent as the beast flung him over the shoulder and continued to remain silent as he was thrown carelessly onto the bed. Izaya internally scolded himself for what he had gotten himself into. Shizuo opened the top draw of the table beside the bed and begins searching through it. Izaya gulps and takes an estimated guess at what Shizuo is looking for. “Oh well, at least he’s being considerate enough to not destroy me internally” he thought to himself as he smiled grimly to himself. He closed his eyes and sighed. He felt the beast crawl onto the bed and lean over him. His breathing was loud compared to the silence of the room. His own breath began to speed up as he could feel the other's body heat. His eyes closed tighter as he anticipated the blonde to roughly tear his clothes off and fuck him until he breaks every bone in his body like the beast he is. He hears a tearing of plastic and gulps once again. “Using protection? Even more considerate” he thinks to himself as he tries to stay positive. Izaya takes a couple of deep breaths and tries his best to keep himself composed. He hears something being removed from the packaging and stays completely still. The blonde moves closer until his body is almost again the smaller man’s. Izaya’s eyes tighten closed even more than they already are, not caring if he seemed weak. The strain from his eyelids helped him relieve the tension he was feeling slightly. He let out another slow and shaky breath. 

“Just get it over and done with” he says coldly. A moment later, he feels a light weight on his chest. He slowly opens his eyes and allows his eyes to drift to his chest. There before his eyes, he sees a Christmas tree cut out that reeks of foreign odours he try's his best to avoid. “How did I not realise the smell before?” He wonders for a moment before he realises that for the entire time that the packaging was being opened, he had unintentionally stopped his breathing. He looked up at the blonde man with a slight lost look on his face. The other man raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Get what over with? Killing you? Oh no, I'll make sure you have a slow and painful death.” He grinned, showing his sparkling white fangs. The expression had a forced sweetness to, hiding the vast storage of murderous intent behind the mask. Izaya stuck his tongue out and let out a “blurge” sound of displeasure before asking the blonde about what had caused this confusion. 

“What's with the air freshener?”

**Author's Note:**

> I might do more of these


End file.
